im working on this fic on a couple fourms right now and i thought i should start it here too. if you think i should keep going let me know if not i will stop

this is set at burke and cristina's wedding at the end of season three:
(in the locker room before the wedding)

Der- Meredith we really need to talk?

Mer- about what? the fact that your dumping me because you have this need to take care of me and i apparently won't let you in

der- no

mer- well then your dumping me to see other women! my god derek...if you don't want to be with me anymore then just end it!

der- i want to be with you. i love you more then i have ever loved anyone in this world and i don't want to lose you, but i have a feeling we're not on the same page here meredith.

mer- oh so then this goes back to you thinking that i tried to kill my self the day i drowned...

der- i don't think you tried to kill yourself...but meredith i spent the most terrifying hour of my life trying to breathe for you...to find out you didn't even fight to survive and i need to know why.

mer- you really want to know

der- yes

mer- and even if you think my story is crazy you will believe me

der- i promise

meredith explains to derek how she was swimming but stopped cuz she saw no point in trying anymore, she was tired and cold and dissapearing then she explains how she went to heaven and she saw her mom and chose to come back down to earth because she couldn't leave derek and cristina and her friends behind. her eyes were filled with tears looking back on this experience

der- why didn't you tell me this before?

mer- i thought you wouldn't beleive me

der- well i believe you and i am so sorry baby. now can we get this back to the way things are supposed to be?

mer- (pauses breifly) derek....uhhh...i love you and i want to be with you but i have been through alot this past year and i think i have some personal stuff that i need to work out on my own

der- no! you cant do everything alone you need help sometimes..help is not a sign of weakness it just shows you have people who love you and care about you....will you let me help you through all this?

mer- i'll get back to you...but we are late and i need to make sure that cristina gets married derek

der- (walks up to her and puts his hand on her cheek) so we'll talk later then?

mer- yeah i guess so.....i need to make a decison

der- dont keep me waiting too long

he leans in to kiss her. they share a passionate kiss...they haven't done this in weeks. meredith almost forgot how happy he made her feel...but she pulled him off

mer- i really need to make sure she gets down the isle...

they leave the locker room

the wedding happens exactly as it did in the finale of season three except one thing...
meredith walks up the isle to the altar and gazes happily at derek...she faces the people in the chapel and begins to speak.....

TO BE CONTINUED...

here i will post the next part too. the begining is kinda slow but once it picks up it is pretty good


mer- you can all go home. there isn't going to be a wedding today

cristina's mom- what do you mean no wedding?

burke's mom- did that cristina leave my preston?

mer- no, they have just decided they are not ready for marriage yet...they have left the church together. and like i said before you can all go home.
as people clear out of the church mer starts to head out but derek stops her

der- i hate to to this to you..

mer- (interrupting) then dont

der- have you made a decision

mer- i dont know

der- you dont know?

mer- i wanna let you in i really do but there needs to be things that we have to change...meet me at joe's in an hour we'll talk there okay?

der- okay

meredith turns and walks away

der- i love you

meredith keeps on walking

JOE'S
meredith is sitting at the bar drinking a beer with a full glass beside her then derek walks in, takes the seat and starts drinking the beer she has ordered for him

mer- im glad you came

der- why wouldn't i?

mer- i dunno....

der- what do you need to talk about?

mer- us....i want to be with you....i love you but i need to know i can trust you

der- okay.what do you want me to do?

mer- no more lies. not even forgetting to mention the little things. i want to know all the details this time...

der- okay.but you aren't planning on lying to me are you?

mer-no. and you need to understand that i need my space sometimes. and im thinking of seeing a shrink. i have alot of emotional issues. and i need your help with them

der- done. i love you and i will do anything to keep you with me

they spent hours talking that night untill joe kicked them out of the bar. they went over to meredith's after they left. they went up to mer's bedroom not expecting anything to happen, but after all they are derek and meredith... once they got in bed, they lay in eachother's arms and began to kiss. before you'd know it there were clothes everywhere and they were making love to eachother. they both had missed eachother so much. that night they happily fell asleep in eachother's arms. right then and there, meredith had a feeling that this may be the last time they ever break up. she was in it for good now....

MER'S ROOM- 4AM
the alarm goes off at four but derek was already woken by meredith's snoring. she didn't move when the alarm rang so derek got up and turned it off to see that she was still sound asleep. she looked so beautiful and peaceful that he didn't have it in him to wake her. he went downstairs to get coffee. he drank his coffee and brought one upstairs for meredith with a plate of toast. when he got to her room she was no longer in bed but in the shower. he put her breakfast on the nightstand and began making the bed and picking up their clothes as he found them. she came out of the washroom dressed and ready for work.
mer- why didn't you wake me?
der- you look like an angel when you sleep i couldn't wake you
mer- derek! enough of that have surgery with burke this morning at 5:45! im gunna be late now!
der- no your not. here i brought you breakfast. the room is cleaned up. now let me take a shower and i'll drive you to work
mer- no thats okay i'll get a ride with izzie and alex
der- no let them go i can drive you
mer- or i can drive myself
der- izzie and alex aren't even up yet if you can stop talking and let me get ready you will be at the hospital by 5 okay?
mer- fine but hurry please!
der- don't worry. oh and can you search this house for and clothes of mine...i don't really want to wear the same clothes i wore at work yesterday agan today.
mer- yeah i think you left some stuff in my laundry room. i'll go down and look.
so derek took a shower. meredith found him some clothes to wear and they left for work.
LOCKER ROOM
meredith opens her locker and is trying to change but derek is hovering.
mer-okay now seriously, i need to get ready i have sugery in like 15 minutes i need to get changed.
der- but meredith you smell soooo gooood this morning.
mer- you know we are at work and that is kinda inappropriate
der- that's okay were the only ones in here right now (turns her around so she is facing him and wraps his arms around her waist)
der- what are you doing after your surgey? (begins kissing her neck)
mer- well it's gunna be long so im probably gunna be tired after...and wait what are you doing what did i tell you about doing this at work
der- im sorry.
mer- thank-you. but since we are the only one's in here.
she leans in to kiss him. they are making out in the locker room and they lack to realize that anyone could walk in at any minute and meredith was in the middle of getting changed so is standing there in her scrub shirt and her panties. Dr. Burke walks in
burke- uhhh...i didn't mean to interrupt anything but uhh grey we need you in OR now
mer- ohhh sorry i wasn't paying attention to the time.
der- no it was my fault. i got a little carried away
burke- im not bailey. i don't care that you guys were making out in the locker room. i just need meredith in surgery now
mer- on my way. (puts on her pants)
they all walk out of the locker room
der- i have patients to check on then i will watch from the gallery okay?
mer- sounds great.
burke walks into the scrub room meredith and derek stay at the door
mer- (kisses him) i love you
der- love you too
meredith begins to walk into the scrub room
der- oh and uh mer...
mer- yeah?
der- good luck in there!
mer- thanks
she goes into the scrub room. and scrubs in with doctor burke...

okay i am going to post three more updates. but if i dont get any comments i wont keep going because that way i think no one is reading :( give it a chance the story gets really good!!

SCRUB ROOM
burke- so you and derek are okay again?
mer- when were we not okay?
burke- well shep and i have become decent friends this year and at the bachelor party he told me he wasn't sure you guys were gunna make it
mer- right. well he is ready for a certain level of commitment that terrfied me and now im ready. and we went through so much between my near death, my mother's death and susan's death. i have missed him being there for me so much and i am so glad that he is here again.
burke- well that is great news
mer- speaking of relationships...i haven't seen cristina yet today...
burke- she was sleeping. i forced her to take as much of the day off as possible. she needs to seriously think about our engagment.
mer- do you want me to call her after surgery maybe swing by for a visit to see how she is doing?
burke- that would be great thank you so much dr.grey. but now we have a life to save

meredith and burke completed a sucessful aortic anuerysm removal. they replaced the portion of the valve with a pig valve. burke was generous enough to left meredith stitch in the pig vavle herslef. one she completed the procedure she looked up to the gallery to see derek looking down on her. he had a huge smile on his face. you could see how proud of her he
was. when the surgery was done, burke and meredith went back to the scrub room.

mer- that was amazing
burke- you did great in there. hard to believe you don't have much experience in this feild. those sutures were just as flawless as cristins's and she has much more experience in cardio
mer- thank- you dr.burke.
burke- no problem.. have you chosen a specialty yet grey?
mer- well...im still not to sure which i know is bad because i need to make a decision in the next week and im the last to decide.
burke- the last?
mer- yeah. cristina chose cardio. izzie and alex both chose OB/GYN and well george still needs to decide what he is doing
burke- i thought o'malley was going to mercy west?
mer- he was but he failed his intern exam
burke- o'malley?
mer- i know it's horrible...he needs to decide if he is going to repeat his intern year or drop out...but im sure he'll stick with it.
burke- let's hope so. he will make an incredible surgeon one day.

derek enters the room

der- you are amazing mer! what did i do to get such a talented girlfriend?
he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her in to his body
der- i love you
mer- i love you to. and i guess you are just a very lucky man to wind up with me.
der- i guess so.
burke- i will give you two some privacy
mer- sorry. thanks again dr. burke!
burke- anytime grey. are you still gunna call cristina for me?
mer- yeah i will dont worry about it
burke leaves and meredith and derek start walking back towards the locker room
der- call cristina?
mer- yeah i have to see what she is doing
der- are you telling me she is at home?
mer- yes she is. she is supposed to be thinking about her future with burke. but i'll bet she is just sleeping
der- okay well you call her. and i will meet you in the cafeteria in about half an hour. i have patients to check on
mer- okay sounds like a plan
der- love you
mer- love you too

sorry i was on holiday when you posted the last updates then completely forgot to check back when i came back as i was hooked on Bound by love which is a fanfic on another forum. I am reading this one though and i've finished Bound By Love now. Hope you carry on.

Leelee