Hey all. I was working on a totally different story, but I got sidetracked, and got this little tidbit. Let me know what you think and if I should run with this piece or not. It could prove to be interesting.


Izzie woke with a start from a nightmare, breathing hard, sweat soaking her hair and oversized t-shirt. She flung back the covers and went over to Vanessa's crib, and stood looking at her sleeping daughter. A nightmare is all it was, she told herself, scolding herself for being so childish. But it had seemed so real, so painfully real. What was wrong with her, having dreams of her daughters dying?

Although she was fully awake and knew that she had just been dreaming, she tiptoed into Katherine and Angela's room. Both girls were sleeping soundly, safe and perfectly content. See, she said to herself, they are fine. There is nothing wrong. Despite her own words, she picked up Angela from her bed, and in doing so, awakened Katherine, who rubbed her eyes and looked at her mother in confusion.

“Mommy, what’s going on?” the little girl asked. She wasn’t used to being awoken at night, and knew something wasn’t quite right. Izzie stroked her hair, and then sighed and took her hand.

“Why don’t you come sleep with Mommy tonight, you and Angela and Baby Nessa?” she said, not waiting for an answer before leading her eldest to her bedroom, carrying her three year old in her arms. Drowsily Katherine followed her mother, not questioning her about her strange request. The last time Katherine had slept in the same bed with her mother had been years ago, before Angela was born. Izzie gathered her three daughters in her bed and snuggled with them under the covers, taking comfort in having them all so near her.

“Are you sad, Mommy?” Katherine asked, reaching a small hand up and laying it on her mother’s cheek. Izzie’s voice caught in her throat, but she managed a small yes. She didn’t bother to try and lie to the girl. “It’s because of Daddy, I know.” The lump in Isobel’s throat grew ever so slightly bigger, and a few tears fell from her eyes. “I miss him, too.” Her daughter’s simple confession sent her over the edge, and she began sobbing, turning her face into the pillow so as to muffle her sobs. When there were no more tears, she drifted off into a fitful sleep, emotionally exhausted.

I WANT TO KNOW WHY IZZIE'S SAD! What happened to Daddy?

THAT, my dear, is what I am trying to work out.

I have only a little bit after, but it obviously needs more. I'm thinking I want to go back and rewrite history, have her have been married to Denny, and THEN he dies. Just a little different from how it happened on the show...

Hmm.

Ok well here is this little bit I have to follow that, until I work some more things out.




Izzie again awakened with a start, but this time for a different reason. George was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching her cautiously. She gave a weak smile to show she was ok, but it quickly dropped from her face.

“Where are my girls, George?” she asked him, sitting up and looking around frantically. “They were here, right here, I swear…”

“Meredith has them in the kitchen, she’s getting them breakfast,” he told her, and she sank back into the pillows.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, kind of weird, right?” George said, flopping himself down on the bed by Izzie. She again smiled slightly. He stroked her hair and searched her face, and then he furrowed his eyebrows. “You ok? I mean, I know you aren’t ok, but, are you getting there? Any more nightmares?”

“No,” she lied, avoiding George’s eye contact.

“Come on, Iz. You can’t lie to me. I’m your best friend.” When she didn’t say anything, he sighed. “Izzie, I know it’s hard for you, losing Denny like that, and having three small daughters and one on the way…” She waited for him to continue but he didn’t.

“But?” she asked. ““But”, George, there is usually a “but”,” she said, tears welling in her eyes.

“Sorry, I thought I had something, but I didn’t..." He looked apologetically at her and she let him off the hook because she knew he wasn't good at this sort of thing. "I just know that it’s hard, Iz.”

“You don't know the half of it."

OOOOH! Rewriting history is always fun! This is gonna be good *goes and gets popcorn*

Do you think its a good premise? THere's lots that could happen with this, but things will be very very different for the characters...

But I think I can work with this. I'll write more in a bit. Maybe get its own thread LMAO

You should TOTALLY go for it! It'll be cool :)

Later that day, Izzie, George, Meredith, and Izzie's daughters were sitting in the park waiting for Callie to arrive. Although Izzie hadn't wanted to leave the house that day, her friends had talked her into it. "At least to get the girls out of the house!" Callie had said, reminding Izzie that indeed neither the girls or she herself had been out of their home except for Denny's funeral. Izzie had tried to be reclusive, but with friends like hers and three active little girls, it was hard. So she had agreed to go to the park and let the girls play.

"Slow down, Katherine!" Izzie called out to her six year old who was running crazily around the playground. She really didn't want to be out here right now, but here she was, sitting on a park bench bouncing her youngest on her lap.

"They're having fun, Iz. Just let them be kids," George remarked, waving to Angela getting ready to go down the slide. A few seconds later, Katherine tripped and started crying.

"Seriously?! Sounds like real fun, huh George?" Izzie snapped, handing him Vanessa. She ran over to her crying child and shushed and comforted her, looking her over for "boo boos".

"Don't worry George, she's just going through hell right now, and with the pregnancy hormones on top of it, she's bound to be a little grouchy," Meredith said to George, patting his arm.

"Yeah. I know that, Mer. I of all people know that," he said in a somewhat hostile tone. Meredith raised her eyebrows and tilted her head at him.

"Oh don't bring this up again. You know I would have been there for her sooner if I wasn't in Hawaii with Derek. And the others, Cristina, Alex, Lexie, and Callie... They aren't as close to Izzie, they don't know what to do, and you know as well as I do she'd only see you after the accident. She only wanted you."

"That shouldn't have stopped the rest of them, or you. I was with her in that house taking care of her and the girls all by myself for two weeks. Not that it's Izzie's fault or anything; I know she's taking Denny's death pretty hard. But two weeks, and not once did any of you offer to help out or come by. Now all the sudden, three weeks after the accident, she is acting somewhat sane again, and you guys come crawling out of the woodwork, insisting on afternoons in the park and cooking her kids' breakfast."

"George... I know what we did was wrong, but..."

"No," Izzie interrupted, sitting between George and Meredith again on the bench. "It was what I needed, whether you knew that or not." She turned to George and continued. "I'm sorry you had to take care of me like you did... But thank you. I couldn't... I didn't want the others to see me like that, bereaved and crazy and crying all of the time. You- no offense, Mer- are the only one who understood me and my feelings truly. If you could forgive me, and them, too, for leaving you in charge of everything, that would be great." George sighed and shrugged his shoulders.



-- gah I have to run, but I'll add to this in a bit....

NIce one. You're VERY good with the Izzie thing :)

Double post, my bad.

But here is another bit. I can only get this one in bits and pieces, my bad. I'm still working out on how much I want to stay the same or what. And if any one could give me a better thing for George to say, speak up. That's totally not George.




“I get it. It’s ok, Iz. I don't think any of them could have handled it,” he laughed, and both Meredith and Izzie knew he spoke the truth, even if they didn’t say it out loud. They sat in silence for a few minutes watching the older two girls play until Callie pulled up in her little car and honked.

“Aunt Callie!!” Angela and Katherine screamed, running towards Callie, who had gotten out of the car and now stood with arms outstretched and a smile stretched across her face. They both ran into her arms and Callie gave them kisses on the tops of their heads, hugging them tight to her. Izzie smiled and watched with a slight sense of wonder. How did we get here? she thought. From basically hating Callie to having her daughters call her aunt. She thought about all of the other changes that had been made in the past few years.

Izzie is easy, it’s the rest I have issues with. I struggle with whatever they have to say. :P

Gah I made it sound like George was irritated at Izzie too… Not what I wanted. Also I think I am going to change how long George stayed at the house and how long Izzie was nutso… 4 months is a long time for them to have not seen her and for her to have been all sad and bereaved.

More to come.

Actually, the George line is good, except fot the "like any of them…" bit. He might be more likely to say something like "I don't think any of them…". I see Callie and Izzie are all good now! YIPPEEE! 4 months might be a little long, but if it's something like 2 months, I could see Izzie doing that :) I mean, she probably wouldn't have come off that bathroom floor for at least a week or two had Meredith not talked to her :)

I really like it!!! Keep it comming :)

I gave her two weeks of utter crazy, and now we're crazy but not quite as bad.

I'll change the George bit in a second.

AND YAY CALLIE AND IZZIE as friends for once. Of course, in my world, George and Izzie never slept together and so Callie really has no reason to hate Izzie, and since Izzie was busy with Denny and all that, she didn't have lots of time to be jealous and somewhat hateful. I am sticking with Lexie coming in, except everyone likes her now, including Mer, and Burke and Addie still leaving, Mark staying, all that. Nice.

Edit: DId you like how I snuck in the "how did we get here" bit? I was like, Cait, you're a mini genius. Not really, but I liked that I could use it.

Nice move!

I think I started wrong. I should have.... ah well. Too bad! I'll have to think of a new conflict.

OH I KNOW. MWAHAHAH! We're good now!

O…kaaaaay. :) You didn't start wrong. You started with a typical "old Izzie" thing! She was all emotional. I liked it :)

You just wait! :D

I like writing crazy Izzie. :D

First, there was her and Denny. Although the odds seemed against them, they had done it. The Chief still never knew who had cut the LVAD, although, secretly, he knew. They all knew, but since nothing had come of it, the matter had been dropped, and it only took a month for the five interns to return to their tasks and jobs as they had been before they were put in “time out” by Bailey, which was still miraculous to all of them. After Denny had gotten out of the hospital, he and Izzie had set to work on their wedding plans, and had a gorgeous summer wedding. A year later, they found out that they were expecting their first child. Addie had since left, Cristina and Burke’s relationship had fallen apart horribly, with Burke leaving Cristina at the altar and Burke leaving Seattle Grace, too. Then Lexie had come, and although they had their issues to begin with, now she and Meredith acted like real sisters. Callie and George had grown apart, and she was married to Mark now. Then Angela arrived, and Izzie had put her career on hold for her girls, turning down the job of being the attending OB-GYN. Alex took the job instead, and Cristina had taken over the cardiothoracic service. Meredith and Derek had finally worked out most of their issues and were happily married, although they attended counseling regularly, both together and separately. Meredith had taken a job as a general surgeon at Presbyterian. George surprised everyone by taking a job at Mercy West as an orthopedic surgeon, and he was great at it, which he admitted he owed to Callie’s teaching. Vanessa had arrived two years ago, and Izzie was now eight months pregnant with her fourth child. And so life had gone on, but it came to a screeching halt the night of Denny’s accident, the night that had changed Izzie’s life forever.

Callie’s unexpected hug brought her back to reality before she could get far enough into her thoughts to think about Denny for too long. Callie squeezed herself between Izzie and George, taking the baby from him with a smile.

“She’s always liked me better, anyway, George,” she teased. They made idle chit chat, talking about the weather and Izzie’s pregnancy.

“It’ll be another girl. I’d bet money on it,” George said.

“I’m saying it’s a boy. She’s carrying kind of high, not like she did with the girls,” Callie responded, looking Izzie up and down, which made Izzie laugh.

“You guys…”

“Well,” Meredith said, “I’m voting for a boy, too. It’d be nice to have a boy finally!” Her statement reflected how they all treated Izzie and Denny’s girls: as their own, spoiling them and lavishing them with attention. Even Cristina, who hated kids, didn’t mind Izzie’s girls, and in fact, helped deliver Katherine.

“As long as it gets here soon, I don’t care,” Izzie told them all, placing a hand on her already huge belly. They all laughed, and Callie was glad to see that Izzie was looking better; she certainly seemed far more upbeat. She remembered how she had been at the funeral… A complete mess, crying while slumped in the front pew of the church. She thought it was then that Izzie started distancing herself, and not returning their calls or opening the door to their frantic knocking. And they had let her, and she felt bad for letting her, and conceding to being pushed away. If anything, Izzie had needed her friends, and they had left her. Callie felt guilty, but she was glad that she was there now, and had the opportunity to see her and talk to her. She had missed Izzie and her “nieces”.

The four of them (plus little Vanessa) sat for a long time, alternately watching the girls and talking quietly about anything and everything. Why quietly, they didn’t know, but it felt more appropriate. No one mentioned Denny or even acknowledged that he wasn’t there, playing alongside his girls like he would have been had he still been there, as Izzie thought more than once while watching her daughters. Again she found herself forcing the memories out of her mind, refocusing on what was going on at that moment. All of them could detect that Izzie still wasn’t all there, but that she was trying her best. Around three, Callie looked at her watch and cursed.

“I’m going to be late for Mark. We’re supposed to be buying a TV. I couldn’t care less about another TV, but he cares, so I care. I’ll see you guys later.” She said goodbye to the girls and handed Vanessa to Izzie. Their gazes met for a brief instant, and Izzie flashed a smile that Callie knew she was putting on for show. It was then that she noticed something she hadn’t earlier: the awfully sad and hurt expression that was hidden in Izzie’s brown eyes. It shocked her slightly to see the magnitude of the pain Izzie was still feeling, and made her chest tighten. She smiled back and gave her shoulder a squeeze. “It was good seeing you, Iz.” And with that she got into her car and left before the whole thing made her cry.

Meredith and George stayed for awhile longer, but eventually both of them had to go as well.

“If George will take you home, I can take the girls for the night. Derek hasn’t seen them…” she paused not knowing whether to say “since the funeral” or something else. She went with something else. “For awhile.”

“I don’t know, Mer…” Izzie said, looking doubtful. She wasn’t sure she could deal with having them away from her for even a few seconds, let alone a whole night. Recalling the night before, George also hesitated, but thought it might present an opportunity for Izzie to talk to somebody (him) without being distracted with the girls around. She hadn’t expressed her feelings to anybody except with tears.

“I think it would be a good idea, Izzie. Why don’t you try it? I’m sure the girls would love it,” he suggested. Izzie still wasn’t sure, but Katherine had heard them talking and was bouncing around happily whooping and hollering.

“Yay we get to go to Aunt Meredith’s house!! WOO!” she yelled, jumping around the adults and making Vanessa giggle her little baby giggle. Izzie sighed and grinned at her daughter.

“How could I say no to that? Ok, Meredith, we can try it.” By this time Angela had bounded over and demanded to know what was going on. Once she was clued in, she was just as excited as her big sister.

“Yay Aunt Mewedit house! Can Slinky come?” she asked, referring to the girls’ hamster. Meredith laughed and shook her head.

“I think that Slinky should stay at your house, just in case he gets scared at ours because it’s new to him.” Angela accepted that for an answer and went on celebrating with her sister.

“I’ll bring their stuff by later tonight,” George said to Meredith. Izzie felt her jaw clench, but let it go. George was being helpful, and she should be grateful, but she did feel she could be trusted to walk over the few things her girls would need to get through the night or drive herself home and not need to be escorted or have someone else take over the task completely. But she let it go, because she knew it was just her being ridiculous.

George put the girls’ seats into Meredith’s car, and helped Izzie into the passenger side of hers. After he had the girls situated in Mer’s car, he got behind the wheel and pulled out of the park, heading towards Izzie’s house. Finally alone with her, he pounced on the opportunity to talk to her.

I dont like it. GAH

Cait, it's really good! WHAT HAPPENED TO DENNY THIS TIME?

I'm glad you liked it. Since I have so much time on my hands, I think I can get a bunch more out tonight. Yayyyyy!

Me too! I'm up for another 3 hours with American Idol! WahoooooOO!

I meant to ask you what you thought of the Callie bit. Good, bad? Yay or nay?

I really like how you're giving them a civil relationship :) Whereas, I gave them a sexual one :P

LMAO! They are going to be happy. I toyed with the idea, but decided friends is about as good as I could ask for. :P

What did you toy with?

Them hating each other or something like that.

AH! I see! Ben Stiller's on Friends right now…

I'm watching him and going, wha wha what? LOL

Just waiting for American Idol!

Meeeeee toooooo!

“Iz, we need to talk, ok? I know you might not want to, but you have to. Or you should,” he started, glancing anxiously at Izzie. She looked out the window and seemed not to hear him, but a few moments later she spoke.

“Not right now. Later, tonight. Just not right now.” George was satisfied with that; at least she agreed to talk to him. Now maybe she could begin to truly get over what happened.

They rode the rest of the way in silence, Izzie still staring out of the window, and George stealing glances at her from the corner of his eye. Maybe this was too much to ask, he thought, noticing how her shoulders slumped and how forlorn she looked just sitting there. Once they arrived, Izzie put together the girls’ over night things and she and George walked them over to Meredith’s, where she, Derek, and the girls were watching Dora the Explorer.

“Hey Mommy!” Katherine said, running to her and hugging her tight. Izzie held her daughter for a few seconds longer than she normally would, but let go and the girl went back to watching TV. Derek smiled from the couch, and waved his hand around.
“Ah the life of luxury. Dora on the TV, chicken nuggets in the oven, and I am sure one of us will end up changing a diaper.”

“Domestic bliss,” Meredith teased, running a hand over his, and smiling lovingly at him.

“Therapy really is working miracles for you two, isn’t it?” George remarked sarcastically, sitting down on the loveseat. Izzie followed suit, and Vanessa toddled over to her and insisted on being picked up. Izzie was happy to oblige.

“So, how have you been, Stevens?” Derek asked. He still insisted on calling her “Stevens”, even though her last name had been Duquette for the longest time.

“Fine. I’m fine,” she lied, and she threw him a smile that she hoped didn’t appear as strained or forced as it was. She failed, but Derek let it go.

“Good.”

“Are you two going to stay for dinner?” Meredith asked.

“No,” George said, “I think we’re going to order in. Chicken nuggets just don’t sound appealing.”

“Your loss,” Derek said. “I happen to know chicken nuggets are somebody’s special favorite.” At that, Angela perked up and nodded her head enthusiastically.

“I love nuggets!”

After a few more minutes of Dora and her bilingual adventures, George and Izzie got up to leave. Izzie kissed each of her girls in turn and promised to feed Slinky. When they were preoccupied with TV, they slipped out and walked back to Izzie’s house.

Yummy, yummy chicken nuggets! Is Mer in therapy?

BOth she and Derek are. Otherwise they'd NEVER work. As we've seen on the show... LMAO

yeeeeeeah, you're right. Callie and George should try that…

OOOOo Mallie love :)

Hmm I have lots written, but its all out of sequence. Right now I'm working on bridging the pieces together. :) But here is a bit more for now:


George opened the door for Izzie and then they both went into the kitchen. Gizmo, the family’s cocker spaniel greeted them with enthusiasm, and Izzie patted her and gave allowed the dog to give her kisses. George retrieved the phone from its hook and set it down on the table by the phone book. Taking a look around, Izzie noticed that pictures were missing, but didn’t say anything. She was relieved in a way. With them gone, Denny’s face wasn’t looking at her everywhere she went, reminding her.

“What do you want to do for dinner?” George asked her, fixing himself a glass of water. “Chinese, pizza…” he waited for an answer but she didn’t give one. Her eyes were fixed on a picture stuck on the side of the fridge that he had forgotten to take down, the only one he had forgotten. It was of Denny and Izzie on their fifth wedding anniversary. He had surprised her with a trip to California, and they had spent three glorious days on the beach, totally carefree and happy. The picture was taken at sunset: Denny was dressed in jeans and a blue t-shirt and she wore a pink sundress. Picture Denny was holding Picture Izzie in his arms and both of them were smiling serenely at the camera. Izzie reached for it and lightly traced Denny’s face with her index finger, hopelessly wishing they could go back to that day.

“Why?” she said in a whisper, feeling the tears coming and a familiar sick in the pit of her stomach. She snatched it hastily from the fridge and clutched the picture to her chest. “Why?” she asked again, this time choking on the word and the sob in her throat at the same time. “Why?” she cried out, crumpling to the kitchen floor, too weak to stand any longer. George knelt down beside her and held her up, letting her cry. He didn’t try to say anything, knowing that it wouldn’t help. Eventually she pulled herself together, and they sat on the floor with their backs against the kitchen wall. After a bit, she spoke softly.

“He’s gone, George.” She said in disbelief. “Denny is gone forever. How can I live with that? Raising my girls without their father? I know they are too young to know what’s going on, but I know, and that is bad enough. I love him, and he’s gone. I love a dead man, and I’m not sure I can stop.”

“You don’t have to stop loving him, Izzie. But you do have to realize that he is gone…”

“You don’t think I realize that? You don’t think that every day when I see my daughters, our house, that stupid hamster or the dog, I don’t realize he is gone?” She wasn’t yelling or taking a tone, she was actually asking him a question, and she waited for him to respond, but when he didn’t, she went on. “I know you do, because you took the pictures. You took them down so I wouldn’t be reminded. But you can’t take away the reminders because they are every where.” More tears came, but she talked through them. “Do you know what the last thing I said to him before he died was? Before the accident? “Don’t forget coffee”. He always forgot to get coffee when he went to the store, because he hadn’t ever drank it, it was only me who drank coffee. I should have said, “Don’t forget coffee, and I love you”. But I didn’t. I just wanted him to remember the coffee.”

“You didn’t know, Iz. You didn’t know what would happen; there was nothing you could of done,” George said, squeezing her shoulder.

“It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? The man survives a cut LVAD wire, a heart transplant, just to die in a car crash.” She laughed a little, and then threw her hands in the air. “Isn’t that the most ridiculous piece of crap you’ve ever heard?” With that she started bawling again and tried to keep talking, but George couldn’t make out any of it through her crying.

“Izzie…” He grabbed his glass of water and made her drink, pleading with her to just breathe. “In and out, Iz, come on…” She calmed down slightly and leaned her head on his shoulder. “It is ridiculous. Death is always ridiculous,” he told her.

“It is,” she agreed. She pulled away and looked George in the eyes. “Promise me you won’t leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you here, please don’t leave me.” George was slightly taken aback, but hugged her to him as she started crying again.

“I won’t. I won’t leave. I promise.”

Kinda cheesey, but what can I say. "Most ridiculous piece of crap"... Heh. Go me. :P

It ain't cheesy! You're good at "freak-out Izzie!"

Freak out Izzie is my favorite. It's when she's very real and raw. Me likes.

:P

I have more freak out Izzie in store, but first we need some happy Izzie. Yayyyyy

Happy Izzie's good too!